This lady, this beautiful lady, is my grandmother. She went to heaven two years ago and I miss her so very much.
My aunt is here on a visit. As she walked up my back steps, she commented on my pretty planters, overflowing with an array of flowers. I told her thanks but that I couldn't take credit for them. We have a landscaper come plant the planters for us. I told her I'd love to do it, that my heart is willing but that I just can't pull it off these days. (Saying these words, I feel a tinge of shame as both my grandmother and my aunt standing before me were and are avid gardeners.) My aunt told me that when she was young, rose salesmen used to come to their door selling roses. And my grandmother would tell them no thank you, that she has all her roses already...her six children inside the house. Apparently, she didn't garden like I remember until her kids were bigger. I needed this reminder -- that my children are my garden.
Having this simple knowledge lifts my heart in relief and gladness, that my grandmother, who kept amazing gardens, put this on a shelf for a while during the busy child-rearing days. But it also makes my heart heavy as I wish I could pick up the phone and hear more of her thoughts on mothering...and gardening.
Then, as I was tucking my 2-year-old in for an afternoon, I remember that my grandmother is closer than I think. The very heartbeat of her days was fed by the scriptures, the same, unchanging scriptures that I have on my nightstand. Her heart is wrapped up in those words, those truths. Her mothering advice was rooted in the scriptures. Her love for her family, her friends, her flowers...her entire worldview came through the filter of those scriptures. Here's a picture I took of her Bible after her funeral. This was one of many Bibles she marked up and pondered and allowed to change her and challenge her every day. EVERY. DAY.
So while I no longer can pick up the phone and call her with the myriad of questions I have, I can pick up my Bible and steep myself in the truths that shaped her heart and life. And it's also pretty nice to have aunts and uncles and parents and brothers and cousins who can keep her legacy alive. Thanks Aunty LA.
