Happy Birthday, Baby Boy

Four years ago today, we were blessed with the arrival of our sweet baby boy! He was a happy baby. And now he's a happy, chatty, boy who loves all things vehicular, books, and his little sister (most days). And he's smart as a whip. He has brought us so much joy. Our lives changed four years ago for the better. I love you so much, baby boy.

Rest in Peace

We said goodbye to our precious Syd the Wonderdog this afternoon at 2:40pm in the shade of the maple tree in our backyard. It was such a peaceful passing. Praising God for that. Words do not adequately express how incredibly sad we are. Thank you to all for loving us and our dear Sydney so very well. We take comfort trusting that he is now in a better place, playing with the other awesome dogs who have passed before him, Babushka, Murphy, Mijo, and Scout to name a few. 

I’ve never known a dog who prefers people to other animals. Or a dog who loves playing Frisbee and ball and chasing squirrels as much as Syd. He patiently has let me sob my eyes out in the thick fur of his neck, until I could breathe again. His big brown eyes are two of the sweetest I have ever seen. K wrote the following in 2006 & nothing really captures the essence of Sydney better:

The Tao of Syd

Stretch

Accept treats when they are offered

Enjoy the simple things

Forgive easily

Play often

Take naps

Always be happy to meet people

Greet friends with a gift

Chase away the annoying things in life

Relax/Lay in the sun

Sleep by the fire

Rest in peace, Syd. You will always be a part of our family.

Sydney the Wonderdog Jackson (1998-2013)

Saying Goodbye to Sydney

For all of you who have known our beloved Syd the Wonderdog, I am sad to say that after 15 awesome years with him, we are preparing ourselves to say goodbye. His back legs just can't really carry him anymore. We are hoping for at least another week or two longer with him. 

I am putting together a book for K with stories & memories that so many of you have had with Sydney. If you would, please take a moment & send me some of your favorites to include in the book. Feel free to comment here or send me an email. (Photos are welcome too!)

Tears are running down my cheeks as I type. Somehow putting it into black & white print makes it all the more real. He has been such a good dog & certainly the first pet in my life that I have really loved. We will all be sad to say goodbye.

Off of Facebook...Back to Blogging

Well, I've signed off Facebook for a while, maybe forever. I still have my account (mostly because The Viewfinder Project's page is linked to my page) and I'll periodically go on to make sure I'm not missing some critical personal message or something. But many days will go by before I even log in. And then I'm only on for a maximum of five minutes. Why is this important, you may ask? Because Facebook became too big of a distraction in a long line of distractions. Instead of using my time alone reading, writing, cooking, exercising or doing something more personally fulfilling, I'd find myself lost in a sea of comments. Five minutes became twenty (which isn't that long but when you've got little kids, much can be accomplished with 20 minutes of alone time!!). I'd find myself pulling out my phone at the doctor's office or at the coffee shop to check Facebook instead of pulling out my book. It was becoming my go-to for passing the time.

Too many times I would sit down at my computer to accomplish some task and would quickly check FB. I'd get sucked in then would completely forget what I had originally sat down to do! Frustrating. And I don't know about anyone else, but I found myself comparing my life to life on Facebook...how much fun everyone seems to be having, what great moms and friends everyone seems to be...and would find myself feeling like I wasn't enough. These snapshots into people's lives are wonderful but can also be distracting from what I need to focus on in my own life. It's so strange. And I'm aware that much of what I'm saying is in many ways my own issue of discipline or focus or self-esteem or fill-in-the-blank. But whatever the reason, it was distracting. I never really wanted to get on FB. But then I did and it was fun and interesting and I love seeing all of the photos. And then it wasn't.

Facebook feels like it is replacing real communication in some way. Friends post invitations there, forgetting the non-Facebookers in the process. Big news is announced there. Prayer requests are made there. And that's well and good. But it increasingly seems to be the only place these things are made known. What happened to email? Or even a phone call? I am as guilty as anyone here so I'm not trying to throw stones. But it feels like an increasing Us vs. Them scenario, without anyone intending it to be so. So what do we do? I got off Facebook. I guess I'm becoming one of "them." And I'm trying to blog again, post photos to my blog. I'm trying to send more personal emails to my friends and family. Trying to connect in other ways. (And with a blog, at least I can make a book and keep posts and photos that I post!)

Ok. That's enough about that.

One Year Ago Today...

...we were being ushered into PICU to see our little girl. Our little 4-month-old baby girl who had to have major skull surgery. "Craniosynostosis" they told us at our first meeting with a neurosurgeon in early December. Sagittal synostosis to be exact. We found ourselves on the journey of our lives, trying to navigate a new world of information & options for treatment of H's condition. One year later & I find myself in the same "posture of prayer," as one of my friends calls it. "May we never lose this posture of prayer" for our children, for our families, for our friends. I thank God for H's health, for her healing, for the blessing of BOTH of our children. In the aftermath of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, I find myself assuming this posture of prayer even more. Every day is a gift. My brother & I were talking the other day about how our faith requires us to say yes to God in whatever it is He chooses to give us. That means blessings as well as the birth defects & the tragedies, trusting that there are no accidents, that all things ultimately point to his glory & his perfection. I clung to this a year ago & cling to this still today. I am eternally grateful to be on the other side of surgery having experienced a series of best-case-scenarios with H. We have so much to be grateful for. May we always sing Hallelujah whatever our joys & sorrows may be. In this Advent season of waiting and anticipation, I am reminded to be anticipating God's goodness, even if it doesn't feel like goodness every single moment. Here's a photo of L & H playing the piano together this fall. I'll post more photos soon. :)

Our baby is ONE!!

Happy birthday sweet baby girl! I can't believe you are one year old today. Where has this last year gone?? Your sweet spirit & ready laughs bring me such joy. And watching you walk, trying to run, is such fun! (Can't believe you started walking at 11 months old!) I don't know how you manage to eat as much as you do with only two teeth...it's remarkable but I am grateful! And your love for your big brother is about the sweetest thing I've ever seen. You just want to be near him, playing with him, laughing with him. You are an incredible little girl, full of adventure & an spirit of exploration. I am excited to see how you continue to grow. May we know how best to guide you & love you & correct you so that you thrive & become exactly who you were created to be. Happy birthday, my love.

Our Baby is THREE!!

I can't believe that L turned THREE yesterday! He is such a big boy. I looked through his baby pictures and love seeing him change into the big boy that he is. Yet he's still my baby!

9 Months Old!

It's hard to believe that H is already 9 months old! She is such a blast. She & L enjoy each other so very much. I stand amazed at how L can make her laugh...really belly laugh. She is crawling everywhere & is pulling herself up on anything and everything. She walks her way around furniture, even reaches from the couch to the coffee table, making a successful transition. We can't help but think she will be an early walker! At 9 months, she still doesn't have any teeth, though we swear she's going to pop the two bottom front ones out any day...but then again, we've thought that for the last 2 months! Earlier this week, one day before she turned 9 months, we drove to Cincy for her 5-mo post-op visit with the neurosurgeon. He remains really pleased with her progress and how she's healing. We don't go back again until early December. Then, if the "defect" is closing in her skull properly & to his satisfaction, he likely won't see us for another 18 months! When they weighed her for that visit, she broke 20 pounds (9.4 kg)! She is thriving. She has the most wonderful disposition. Words we have used to describe her: spirited, sweet, chill, tenacious, has a high tolerance for pain (hardly cries at all when she topples over), determined, social, fun-loving. She laughs easily, loves to play "crawl chase" with me & L, is a hearty eater, and wants to be wherever L is, playing with whatever he is has. We feel grateful to be blessed with two such wonderful, sweet kiddos. Being around them is such a joy.

3 Months Post-Op!

Last Monday, March 19, marked 3 months since H's surgery. That is really hard for me to believe! She continues to do really well. The doctor is very pleased with her progress too! She's a busy baby, trying to crawl & gaining more and more control of her body as she moves from laying on her belly to sitting up. Even though she technically can't crawl yet, she is definitely making her way around the room to L's toys! Here are some photos I took of her on her 3-month "cranioversary," what we moms of kids with craniosynostosis call our post-op anniversaries!

Siblings!

Do our two kiddos look related or is it just me?! My babies... (both at close to 6 months old)

Looking good!

Here's a photo of H 5 weeks post-op. She's a beauty!! Hard to believe that tomorrow marks 6 weeks since surgery. Thanks for all of your continued prayers & support.

Our 2-Week Follow Up

We just wanted to thank you all for praying for H yesterday as we drove to Cincinnati for her 2-week follow-up appointment with her surgeon, Dr. Crone. Dr. Crone was very pleased with her progress. Her incisions are healed & her head shape is developing nicely. They took out the one permanent stitch she had in her head. (The rest are dissolvable.)

He wants to see her again in 6 weeks and cleared us to go to Sanibel for these next couple of weeks. She just has to wear a sun hat outside! So we will head to Florida next week, probably Thursday.

Thank you all for your continued prayers over her & over us as a family. We are so grateful to have this behind us. We continue to pray for H’s full recovery & that she will not need any further surgery in the future.

Back to Cincy

Hi all,
We'd appreciate your thoughts & prayers tomorrow as we head back to Cincinnati for H's 2-week follow up appointment with the surgeon. We are not anticipating any problems...H seems to be recovering beautifully. But we hope that the doctor thinks so too!! Will let you know how it goes.

Thanks!
K+M+L+H

Happy New Year!

Here I sit on the eve of a new year thinking about all that has transpired in 2011. There's no place I'd rather be...in our home, with my fabulous husband across the table from me, and the two most precious children sound asleep in their rooms. My heart is full. And I am grateful.

This year has brought us another baby...sweet H. Thank God for her & her calm disposition & huge smiles & robust laughs. Thank God for her health & safety through major head surgery. What an amazing testimony of God's goodness & faithfulness she is to us. She is our social butterfly, loving being in the middle of the action & people. In particular, she seems to love her big brother. Increasingly we will catch her just watching him with huge, wide eyes then breaking out into a huge guffaw. At four and a half months old, she weighs 17 pounds & is 25 inches long. In this way & in many ways, she is so different than L.

L is an amazing little boy. He brings us such joy every single day. We celebrated his second birthday this summer. He is talking up a storm, constantly amazing us & humoring us with new words & phrases & antics. Most recently, he has started tapping us on the shoulder if he wants our attention. Just tonight, from across the room, he started motioning the "tap" with his hand and accompanying it with a smack of his mouth, as if to say, "Over here...I need you to look at me." It's hysterical. He loves music--we often catch him sitting on the floor or on his bed with his little guitar singing the songs he knows. He still loves cars & trucks of any sort. He loves reading books, Richard Scarry to be specific. And he loves his play kitchen! He is indeed a renaissance man.

K & I celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary a week after H was born. That same evening, I ended up in the ER with some complications from H's birth. This gives us a good excuse to celebrate again in 2012! In general, we are looking forward to a hospital-free 2012. :) Early this year found us on Sanibel for several weeks, escaping much of the icy winter. We also took our first long trip without kids to Panama. This fall, we enjoyed a long weekend with dear friends in the woods of Arkansas. And we have enjoyed an assortment of musical delights throughout the year, including Iron & Wine, Alison Krauss, and Ben Folds.

2011 has been filled with blessing, even in the midst of unexpected drama. We are grateful for each other. We are grateful for our two incredible children. We are grateful for our dear family & friends. And of course we are grateful for Syd & Max the Wonderdogs! (For anyone who is counting, Syd will be 14 years old in February!!) Thanks to all of you for helping to make this past year so very special. May 2012 be filled with blessing & new adventures for you all!

Happy New Year!

Continuing to heal

It's hard to believe that H's surgery is already a week & a half behind us. She continues to heal & do well. I'm amazed at how great her incisions look. And her hair is growing back so fast! Babies are incredible in how they can recover from physical trauma. You would never know she had major head surgery not even two weeks ago. She is her happy old self! With that said, in many ways I feel we have a newborn in the house again. By this I mostly mean we can't have lots of people hold her and she's not sleeping great (having fallen out of her rhythm on only one night waking). But every day is getting better.

We had our first family outing yesterday...out to breakfast. H wore a hat the entire time per doctor's orders. She seems to be in less pain all the time. I've been spreading out her Tylenol (no narcotics) to about every 8 hours. She doesn't really like her head cradle that she's supposed to sleep in, surprise surprise. She ends up sleeping in it about 4-6 hours every day. But she actually is on her back with her head straight up much of the day. So we've been using it while she's awake!

We have scheduled H's 2-week follow up appointment in Cincinnati for Jan 4. At that time, the doctor will access her progress, remove the remaining stitches, and hopefully answer our superfluous questions!

We have felt so blessed and carried by all of you. Thank you for your continued prayers, notes of encouragement & visits. We would ask for continued prayers that H's head heals & that her head grows into the nice round shape that is expected in time. We continue to pray for no developmental issues. (Some kids born with this birth defect experience developmental delays.)

Finally, thanks to all who have visited our blog expecting to see our annual Christmas letter but instead found themselves engrossed in this recent drama! I promise to post a Christmas letter here soon!

All the best,
K+M+L+H

Hallelujah, We're Going Home!

Dr. Crone came in around noon & cleared H to go home! Now, we're just waiting for discharge papers & instructions! I'll continue to post updates here periodically about her recovery. We thank God for each of you. I think it's safe to say we'd be up for visitors starting next week! Let us know if you would like to stop by.

It is so good to be on the other side of this.

Much love to each of you,
M+K

Day 3

This morning marks day 3 of this adventure. Hard to believe that it's only been about 72 hours since H's surgery & they are considering letting us go home today. I know I've said it before, but that's crazy! H had a good night. The nurse came in this morning telling us she needed to draw more blood. What?? So we're pushing back. We asked to have the vein team do it. No, wait. Let us talk to the neurosurgery team. They came in & said we should just talk to Dr. Crone. He has to make the final call. Apparently H's platelet levels are fluctuating more than they'd like. After yesterday's blood draw, they found the level to be 94 when it really should be 100 or more. I'm not sure what all this means but we are still waiting for the doctor to come in & talk to us & check H. Will keep you all posted. We want H to be healthy AND we really want to go home! She's doing great in every other way, thank the Lord.

As I've expressed amazement at how well she's recovering, I've heard many nurses respond with "the younger the better" in terms of her ability to bounce back. She is evidence of this to us. In most ways, she seems like her old self, smiling, laughing, interacting with us. It is truly remarkable to witness.

I've also been incredibly touched by the very real power of prayer we've experienced. I was reflecting with K on the week thus far. After we posted here on the blog how she was through surgery, I could literally feel the blanket of prayer lift slightly, which let in worry & stress among other things. That's why I immediately got back on & said "Keep praying!! She's not out of the woods!" And as you all continued to pray, she continued to improve & peace returned.

So I say again, keep praying! We're not home yet. And even when we are, she still has a lot of healing to do. She needs to stay healthy. We don't want any infections or complications with the incisions or otherwise.

Will update again after we speak with the doctor. THANK YOU for being on this journey with us. You are all loving us in many wonderful, varied ways.

M+K

PS. I forgot to give an update on the area that was bleeding where the drain was in her head. They ended up simply putting in another stitch & that seems to have taken care of it. Whew.

Hard Morning

I feel like our update today bounces back & forth with good news & bad news, "bad" certainly being relative.

Some good news is that H slept great last night, getting at least 2-3 hour blocks of uninterrupted sleep. (Which means we slept too!) At 5am, the nurse came in to give her Tylenol and Oxycodone (a narcotic we gave her twice last night as she seemed to be in more pain than usual). She also said she needed to make her last blood draw so was taking out her IV & would collect her blood in a vile after the needle came out. So more good news: H's IV came out early this morning.

The bad news is that the blood she drew had coagulated & couldn't be used. So now we have no IV through which to draw blood. H is so chubby that everyone who tries to get blood has an incredibly hard time finding a vein to access. So when they came in later this morning to say they had to draw more blood, I could feel MY blood rising. After two heal pricks & rather painful squeezing, they called in the vein team (apparently these folks are the expert blood collectors). The vein team poked a needle into her right arm. That didn't work. By now, I am in tears. I actually had to go into the bathroom where I lost it. I was so incredibly frustrated they had taken out the IV, so frustrated they needed more blood, and simply hurting for H that she had to go through this again. Finally, they got the blood they needed through another heal prick.

More good news is that while they were drawing blood, the neurosurgery people came in to remove the drain out of her head! They suggested doing it on the tails of the blood draw to just get it over with while she was still upset. H was so exhausted from crying from the blood draw that she actually fell asleep while they took out the drain! But she woke up when they put in the stitch.

H woke up about an hour ago from being sacked out from this morning's drama. She nursed well. I picked her up from changing her diaper & there's blood on the sheet from her head. Sigh. So now she seems to be bleeding a bit from the stitch or something. We're not sure right now because she fell asleep again before her nurse could come check. (Another nurse came & put some gauze on it but she wasn't in a position to determine why it was bleeding.)

Now she's resting after having received more Tylenol (no more narcotics for now). So more good news is that her swelling is almost non-existent & she is TOTALLY free from anything inside her body...no more IVs or drains or anything. The only thing she is attached to are the monitors (little suction cups three places on her chest).

We are hoping for a good head scrubbing later today which will aid to the healing of her incisions & where the drain was.

Things to pray: Pray she doesn't need more blood drawn. Pray she remains infection free. Pray she continues to nurse well. Pray for no vomiting. (She threw up twice yesterday, which isn't good.) Pray for no more hiccups in her recovery. Pray she is not in a lot of pain. Pray she rests well.

They are telling us we should be able to go home tomorrow if all continues as it has. That's good news.

Finally, THANK YOU to everyone who sent us e-cards! I don't know how you all knew to do that but we were elated when the nurse brought in this thick packet of paper full of notes from so many of you! What a sweet treat in the midst of a frustrating morning.

More later,
M+K

Out of PICU

H is out of PICU! The nurses moved her to a regular recovery room at around 2pm today. It's nice to have her unhooked from most of her wires. The only things she's still attached to are her monitor wires (to watch her heart rate, blood pressure, and oxygen levels) and the drain in her head. Boy, are we ready to have that drain out! I'm constantly worried I'm going to pull it out! And it looks really cumbersome & painful for H.

Amazingly, H is only on Tylenol for her pain. This is great in the sense that she is really interacting with us & seeming in many ways her old self. However, I think her head is bothering her more today as the other narcotics wear off. Understandably!!

So things to keep praying for: that the drain can come out tomorrow, that her pain is tolerable & not too bothersome for her, and that we can GO HOME THURSDAY as they are anticipating!

We are so grateful she is doing so well. It's truly amazing to me how babies this young bounce back from something like major surgery on the head. We also are grateful for all of you...for your thoughts & prayers and for your many words of encouragement through emails, texts, phone calls. Thank you for all you do and have done for us.

M+K

A New Day

We are so grateful to have surgery almost 24 hours behind us. H is doing so great. We had an uneventful night in PICU last night, which is good! They did a limited CT scan of her head around 8pm last night to check on the pool of blood on her brain & it is not getting worse, thankfully. (Apparently this is a common condition after this type of surgery.) As a result, they let H nurse! So we were able to nurse and "cuddle" all night long. (Cuddling is a bit hard with her hooked up to so many different monitors & IVs but we did our best!)

She is recovering beautifully. All of her labs continue to come back great. She is off oxygen & they took out her catheter this morning. Her bodily functions are all returning, which is a praise. She is still a bit swollen but it is going down. We think her head looks rounder all ready but it's hard to tell with the swelling. I'll post some photos after we are back home. This morning, she was even blowing spit bubbles & cooing & talking a bit! That was like music to my ears. I think we even got a smile!

The doctor continues to think she's doing great. It was his confidence & your prayers that got us through the day yesterday. So thank you to all for your continued prayers & support. We are anticipating that she will be moved out of PICU today & into a regular recovery room but we're not sure of that yet. Will keep you posted!

M+K